.: Greetings, fellow Gerbils! :.

Greetings, fellow gerbils!
Hey there, it's Gerry here! As you may have gathered, I am a gerbil and this is a blog about my life on this planet. I appear to humans through a machine called the GerbilMaestro, which is an exact copy of my master. I control this machine and most of the time pretend to be my master in front of other humans.
I hope you enjoy reading my blog. Thanks a gerbillion!

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Saturday 24 January 2015

Happy Birthday Wicks!

Wishing you a fantastic day with plenty of laughs. Have a good one on us! :D

Friday 23 January 2015

Wicks' Birthday Week - Best Buy

Wicks' Worst & Best Buys of 2014

Best Buy: Domino's Pizza's 'Meateor'

Meatballs, sausages, pepperoni and bacon rashers; you get your money's worth of meat. Although spectacular in its own right, this is perhaps best consumed in small doses.

As featured in WNR #76.

NOTE: We are not affiliated with any of the above mentioned brands.

Thursday 22 January 2015

Wicks' Birthday Week - Worst Buy #4

Wicks' Worst & Best Buys of 2014

Worst Buy #4: Moshlings Magic Water ('Strawberry & Raspberry Rainbow' flavour)

They've really cracked the niche market for yogurt-flavoured products. This drink looks like water but has quite a strong smell and taste of strawberry yogurt. If you're a yogurt fan, this is the product for you. Unfortunately, Wicks does not fall into that niche and most likely won't be picking it up again.

As featured in WNR #69.

NOTE: We are not affiliated with any of the above mentioned brands.

Wednesday 21 January 2015

Wicks' Birthday Week - Worst Buy #3

Wicks' Worst & Best Buys of 2014

Worst Buy #3: 30p Chocolate

Wicks wisely reminds us all that sometimes supermarket own-brand products are not suitable alternatives to branded products, even if the price is remarkably low.

As featured in 40 Quotes of Lent 2014 - Day 35.

NOTE: We are not affiliated with any of the above mentioned brands.

Tuesday 20 January 2015

Wicks' Birthday Week - Worst Buy #2

Wicks' Worst & Best Buys of 2014

Worst Buy #2: Chicken pastie (extra hot)

This snack gained quite the notorious reputation after Wicks famously compared it to something "cooked in the fire of a dragon". As much as Wicks likes dragons, it is unlikely that she will be going back for seconds.

As featured in 40 Quotes of Lent 2014 - Day 25.

Monday 19 January 2015

Wicks' Birthday Week - Worst Buy #1

Wicks' Worst & Best Buys of 2014

Worst Buy #1: Soft mints

Like most people, Wicks enjoys a good mint, such as a Polo, however this particular type rubbed her the wrong way. I think it's fair to say that she won't be re-purchasing these.

NOTE: We are not affiliated with any of the above mentioned brands.

Sunday 18 January 2015

Wicks' Worst & Best Buys of 2014...coming soon!

As many of you already know, Wicks' birthday is this coming Saturday. In the lead-up to the big day we've got an exclusive list of items, hand-picked by Wicks throughout 2014, that she was either impressed or unimpressed with.

Tune in all this week, you won't want to miss it!

Tuesday 6 January 2015

Quote Advent Calendar 2014 Archive

All of our fantastic quotes from this year's Advent Calendar!

Day 1: "But when would I wear it?" - A.T.
Day 2: "Can you spell it out for me?" "Jen." - Ranger, J.C.
Day 3: "There's a label here-" "No." - Check-out worker, J.C.
Day 4: "Parenting advice for a stem cell: you can be anything you want when you grow up." - Poster that Sharah observed
Day 5: "They start with joy and end with sadness." - H.W.
Day 6: "...Bilbo...?" - H.W.
Day 7: "Sherlock would be having a field day!" - H.W.
Day 8: "...I'm now a chick magnet!" - L.R.
Day 9: "No hammers allowed!" - S.A. J.C.
Day 10: "Hello diabetes..." - Sharah's History teacher
Day 11: "...and whether she can take Mr Feeley in a white." - H.W.
Day 12: "A unicorn?" - L.R.
Day 13: "Slickens, go [insert obscenity here] thy self." - H.W.
Day 14: "What does Wi-Fi stand for?" "Umm...wireless fireless?" - J.C. H.W.
Day 15: "He weeds and feeds every other week..." - S.A.
Day 16: "ANT, I have a big announcement...I am the heir of Slytherin." - H.W.
Day 17: "It was quite a short review." "I'm a short person." - S.A. H.W.
Day 18: "...oh wait, I'm a carnivore." - H.W.
Day 19: "It's like cancer in audio form." - A.T.
Day 20: "We like to think that the fat tinsel has been losing weight throughout the year." - S.A.
Day 21: "I only go for my favourite ham." - A.T.
Day 22: "If you start getting excited, refrain." - S.A.
Day 23: "Are they making a film?" - Man in [insert name of fast food chain]
Day 24: "No, you don't." *spoken in Doncasterish* - H.W. J.C.
Day 25: "It's because of the Christmas spirit." - S.A.

I hope you've all enjoyed this year's Quote Advent Calendar. Until next December, have a good one ;)

Twelve Days of Cwismas: Day 12

On the twelfth day of Cwismas, the Gerbils sent to me...
Twelve Zombie LARPs,
Eleven Elf screenings,
Ten Yule dinners,
Nine Worlds for Simon,
Eight Games of Twister,
Seven Dads a' Dancing,
Six Informers,
Five Balloon Friends,
Four Gifts from Scruffs,
Three Monsters weaving,
Two many puns, and
A Honey Badger Attic Attack!

Monday 5 January 2015

Twelve Days of Cwismas: Day 11

On the eleventh day of Cwismas, the Gerbils sent to me...
Eleven Elf screenings,
Ten Yule dinners,
Nine Worlds for Simon,
Eight Games of Twister,
Seven Dads a' Dancing,
Six Informers,
Five Balloon Friends,
Four Gifts from Scruffs,
Three Monsters weaving,
Two many puns, and
A Honey Badger Attic Attack!

Sunday 4 January 2015

Twelve Days of Cwismas: Day 10

On the tenth day of Cwismas, the Gerbils sent to me...
Ten Yule dinners,
Nine Worlds for Simon,
Eight Games of Twister,
Seven Dads a' Dancing,
Six Informers,
Five Balloon Friends,
Four Gifts from Scruffs,
Three Monsters weaving,
Two many puns, and
A Honey Badger Attic Attack!

Saturday 3 January 2015

Twelve Days of Cwismas: Day 9

On the ninth day of Cwismas, the Gerbils sent to me...
Nine Worlds for Simon,
Eight Games of Twister,
Seven Dads a' Dancing,
Six Informers,
Five Balloon Friends,
Four Gifts from Scruffs,
Three Monsters weaving,
Two many puns, and
A Honey Badger Attic Attack!

Friday 2 January 2015

Twelve Days of Cwismas: Day 8

On the eighth day of Cwismas, the Gerbils sent to me...
Eight Games of Twister,
Seven Dads a' Dancing,
Six Informers,
Five Balloon Friends,
Four Gifts from Scruffs,
Three Monsters weaving,
Two many puns, and
A Honey Badger Attic Attack!

Thursday 1 January 2015

Happy New Year!

Wishing you all the best in 2015!

Twelve Days of Cwismas: Day 7

On the seventh day of Cwismas, the Gerbils sent to me...
Seven Dads a' Dancing,
Six Informers,
Five Balloon Friends,
Four Gifts from Scruffs,
Three Monsters weaving,
Two many puns, and
A Honey Badger Attic Attack!