Est. since 2010. Posting nonsense of the finest quality.
Sunday 31 August 2014
Tuesday 19 August 2014
Monday 18 August 2014
Which team are you on?
Take a look at the brand new team posters illustrated by the one and only Oski Bear!
Are you #TeamBadger?
Or #TeamEagle?
The choice is yours.
Are you #TeamBadger?
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| Click to enlarge |
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| Click to enlarge |
Sunday 17 August 2014
Exam Results Quote Week: Day 7
"Have you got any golf paint?"
- H.W.
Story behind quote:
Turns out Wicks was only after gold paint ;p
- H.W.
Story behind quote:
Turns out Wicks was only after gold paint ;p
Saturday 16 August 2014
Exam Results Quote Week: Day 6
*Wicks mimes the word 'purveyance'*
- H.W.
Story behind quote:
Wicks tests Sharah's history knowledge and her Charades skills.
- H.W.
Story behind quote:
Wicks tests Sharah's history knowledge and her Charades skills.
Friday 15 August 2014
Exam Results Quote Week: Day 5
"What the hell, how can you eat 6 bananas in one sitting?!"
- D.S.
Story behind quote:
DLM and Master overhear someone on the next table saying this and are immediately reminded of the 8-banana rule, which apparently was just a myth anyway!
- D.S.
Story behind quote:
DLM and Master overhear someone on the next table saying this and are immediately reminded of the 8-banana rule, which apparently was just a myth anyway!
Thursday 14 August 2014
Exam Results Quote Week: Day 4
"Blessed are the cheese makers!"
- History revision crew
Story behind quote:
First the porridge, now cheese... We meant 'peace makers' *face palms*
- History revision crew
Story behind quote:
First the porridge, now cheese... We meant 'peace makers' *face palms*
Wednesday 13 August 2014
Exam Results Quote Week: Day 3
"Too many Buckinghams!"
- History revision crew
Story behind quote:
Whilst acting out the parliaments of James I and Charles I, for history revision, we came across the issue of having too many Buckinghams. Also, Master's characters never survived for more than 3 minutes, meaning that she was having to be re-cast rather frequently.
- History revision crew
Story behind quote:
Whilst acting out the parliaments of James I and Charles I, for history revision, we came across the issue of having too many Buckinghams. Also, Master's characters never survived for more than 3 minutes, meaning that she was having to be re-cast rather frequently.
Tuesday 12 August 2014
Exam Results Quote Week: Day 2
"Foriegn porridge"
- History revision crew
Story behind quote:
On the day of the history exam, a bunch of us (Sharah, DLM, Ruby, ArwaChihuahua, Wicks and Master) were sat around a round table doing a spot of revision. It is arguable that our minds were not completely on the foreign policy...
- History revision crew
Story behind quote:
On the day of the history exam, a bunch of us (Sharah, DLM, Ruby, ArwaChihuahua, Wicks and Master) were sat around a round table doing a spot of revision. It is arguable that our minds were not completely on the foreign policy...
Monday 11 August 2014
Exam Results Quote Week: Day 1
"Long decision"
- J.C.
Story behind quote:
After the maths exam, it was clear that Master's brain had been fried. She meant 'long division'.
- J.C.
Story behind quote:
After the maths exam, it was clear that Master's brain had been fried. She meant 'long division'.
Sunday 10 August 2014
Wednesday 6 August 2014
SoundBites #1: The Dawn of a New Era
Kicking off our latest initiative, Podcaasting 2.0, the team
are officially back for a brand new series of SoundBites! In this
episode, Wicks, ANT and Jen explain what's been going on during the
hiatus and also discuss future plans...
Music credits: http://incompetech.com/
Music:
Take a Chance http://incompetech.com/music/
Fig Leaf Times Two http://incompetech.com/music/
Image credits: Wicks
Video credits: Ruby and Wicks
Editing credits: Jen
Twitter @SandwichCrew https://twitter.com/
PerfectSandwiches YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6HHYrI6tNqXx0Wy0TpMfPQ
Listen here!
Music credits: http://incompetech.com/
Music:
Take a Chance http://incompetech.com/music/
Fig Leaf Times Two http://incompetech.com/music/
Image credits: Wicks
Video credits: Ruby and Wicks
Editing credits: Jen
Twitter @SandwichCrew https://twitter.com/
PerfectSandwiches YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6HHYrI6tNqXx0Wy0TpMfPQ
Listen here!
Monday 4 August 2014
MouseMouseMonday #35: Review - Millionaire Matchmaker
Hello everyone!
As a follow-up to ANT's previous review on 'Big Rich Texas', we bring you 'Millionaire Matchmaker'! I've also created a new label for ANT's TV reviews so it should be easier to find these. Enjoy ;)
"This is perhaps the best reality show that I've ever had the good fortune to discover, and I'm neither ashamed nor embarrassed to admit it. The show follows Patti Stranger, queen bee of the 'Millionaire's Club', a dating service that caters for America's elite, as she attempts to match wealthy and often arrogant individuals with their soul mates...in return for just a few thousand, of course.
The whole concept of matchmaking has always struck me as a forced and unnatural method of finding love. However, particularly in regards to this show, watching said method is also very comical. To begin with, the fact that Patti, a millionaire herself, has made money by exploiting other people's desperation is unbelievable. It's tragic that these seemingly intelligent people have not realised that they are spending money on finding something that, if they were to simply go outside and live once in a while, would come to them sooner or later... and in much more honest circumstances too. I suppose after you reach a certain fortune you stop caring about what you spend as you have more than you could ever need anyway.
Not only this, but the ways in which she does this continues to humour me. The first stage of the matchmaking process is finding suitable candidates. The idea is that Patti and her minions question a number of men or women, depending on the client's preference. This is also Patti's chance to destroy as many people's self-confidence as possible. She is particularly brutal with the females. Despite the majority of them looking strikingly beautiful, Patti still has her complaints. Oh your hair? I don't like it, dye it blonde. Your outfit? I hate it, put on a revealing black mini dress because no man will ever love you looking like that. Oh you work in a restaurant? Well, I'm looking for a girl with aspiration, but you can come anyway, I always like to test the men with a bimbo. Your figure? Well, it could be better, lose some weight before you come back. *cough* Is that bitterness and jealousy I smell? *cough*
One alarming thing that this show seems to endorse is the idea that a person's affluence and appearance entitles them to a certain type of person. It's as if because these people are wealthy, the 'regular' people that are meeting them must hide everything about themselves and instead allow Patti to mould them into what the millionaires consider a beautiful, perfect person. She also does this with the millionaires themselves, coaching the shyer singletons into becoming fierce, confident and dominant in order to woo - like they won't ever find a partner if they don't. Shouldn't she be encouraging them to be themselves? That's how love blossoms in the real world, you learn to appreciate someone's individual qualities and characteristics. It also favours chivalry in every aspect, meaning that the rich individual must plan and pay for the date. I find it infuriating that she encourages stereotypical gender roles, scolding any female that dares to ask to plan the date. In most cases the men use this opportunity to, as Patti describes, 'lead with their money.' If, as Patti claims, the potential dates are not interested in money, then why not remove this aspect of the show? This is a genuine suggestion, why not send them away with £20 and see what they can come up with collectively?
However, despite my criticism, I cannot deny that Patti is a hugely successful woman. And, judging by her fortune, there must be something in her matchmaking serves. At the end of the day, I suppose we all need a little love in our lives. These people are just a little more despeare and, conveniently, able to pay a high price for it."
- ANT
As a follow-up to ANT's previous review on 'Big Rich Texas', we bring you 'Millionaire Matchmaker'! I've also created a new label for ANT's TV reviews so it should be easier to find these. Enjoy ;)
"This is perhaps the best reality show that I've ever had the good fortune to discover, and I'm neither ashamed nor embarrassed to admit it. The show follows Patti Stranger, queen bee of the 'Millionaire's Club', a dating service that caters for America's elite, as she attempts to match wealthy and often arrogant individuals with their soul mates...in return for just a few thousand, of course.
The whole concept of matchmaking has always struck me as a forced and unnatural method of finding love. However, particularly in regards to this show, watching said method is also very comical. To begin with, the fact that Patti, a millionaire herself, has made money by exploiting other people's desperation is unbelievable. It's tragic that these seemingly intelligent people have not realised that they are spending money on finding something that, if they were to simply go outside and live once in a while, would come to them sooner or later... and in much more honest circumstances too. I suppose after you reach a certain fortune you stop caring about what you spend as you have more than you could ever need anyway.
Not only this, but the ways in which she does this continues to humour me. The first stage of the matchmaking process is finding suitable candidates. The idea is that Patti and her minions question a number of men or women, depending on the client's preference. This is also Patti's chance to destroy as many people's self-confidence as possible. She is particularly brutal with the females. Despite the majority of them looking strikingly beautiful, Patti still has her complaints. Oh your hair? I don't like it, dye it blonde. Your outfit? I hate it, put on a revealing black mini dress because no man will ever love you looking like that. Oh you work in a restaurant? Well, I'm looking for a girl with aspiration, but you can come anyway, I always like to test the men with a bimbo. Your figure? Well, it could be better, lose some weight before you come back. *cough* Is that bitterness and jealousy I smell? *cough*
One alarming thing that this show seems to endorse is the idea that a person's affluence and appearance entitles them to a certain type of person. It's as if because these people are wealthy, the 'regular' people that are meeting them must hide everything about themselves and instead allow Patti to mould them into what the millionaires consider a beautiful, perfect person. She also does this with the millionaires themselves, coaching the shyer singletons into becoming fierce, confident and dominant in order to woo - like they won't ever find a partner if they don't. Shouldn't she be encouraging them to be themselves? That's how love blossoms in the real world, you learn to appreciate someone's individual qualities and characteristics. It also favours chivalry in every aspect, meaning that the rich individual must plan and pay for the date. I find it infuriating that she encourages stereotypical gender roles, scolding any female that dares to ask to plan the date. In most cases the men use this opportunity to, as Patti describes, 'lead with their money.' If, as Patti claims, the potential dates are not interested in money, then why not remove this aspect of the show? This is a genuine suggestion, why not send them away with £20 and see what they can come up with collectively?
However, despite my criticism, I cannot deny that Patti is a hugely successful woman. And, judging by her fortune, there must be something in her matchmaking serves. At the end of the day, I suppose we all need a little love in our lives. These people are just a little more despeare and, conveniently, able to pay a high price for it."
- ANT
Sunday 3 August 2014
Weekly News Round-Up #67: 27/07/2014
Dearest readers, I hope you've all had a fantastic week! Even though our week has pretty much consisted of 2 days only, I'm sure I speak on behalf of everyone when I say we've had one heck of a good time.
Kicking off the week, ConscienceSarah and Master were sat in Maths engaging in a teamwork exercise where the class had to solve a Killer Sudoku (no, no, no! Not just your everyday Sudoku). After a little while, we really got into the spirit of things, with the teacher admitting that it's a rather addictive activity, ideal for when you're feeling bored on a beach in the summer hols.
Now, I know what you're all waiting to hear about. One of this week's main events was the ultimate match of Messy Twister, with Sharah playing host. We warmed up a little beforehand with a spot of 'Cards Against Humanity' (the Game of Thrones version) but afterwards it was strictly down to business. We reached Sharah's early in the afternoon and geared up almost straight away. When I say 'gear' I'm referring to old clothes (Wicks had a rather startling pair of skin-coloured leggings, whilst Sharah's were a bright sunshine yellow, apparently previously used when she had to portray a banana in a dance show), shower caps (paint stains light-coloured hair. Plus DisneyLoverMolly felt that she needed to protect her newly-done pedicure, so naturally she went swimming pool style, with one shower cap on each foot) and swimming goggles for Master.
Let's establish the teams. With their blue stripes, Team Badger consisted of Cap, Anya Stark, DLM and Lead Badger Sharah. Meanwhile, Team Eagle was one member down, so they only had ArwaChihuahua, Wicks and Master. Of course, the Eagles had their classic yellow beak painted onto their foreheads. And last but not least, we had Team Platypus, populated only by Sharah's sister, the WelSHEEP, who wore a 'P' proudly on her stomach.
As the bells sounded for round 1, we took our first steps into the paint. Wicks' foot made a particularly stereotypical squelching sound at one point, which was appreciated by many. Events escalated quickly as we were soon under some extremely slippy circumstances. Overall, ArwaChihuahua scored one for Team Eagle at the end of the first round. As the second round progressed, the paint was starting to build up on our feet, with Wicks commenting on how hers looked the same colour as typical horror movie zombie feet. We came out of that round with Anya scoring one for the Badgers, making both teams even. It was then decided that we'd have one more round to settle the battle. In the end, it was a showdown between Anya and Wicks. On the other hand, whilst the last 2 were twisted in paint, DLM put a generous amount of green paint on Master's leg, which was then extended to create a 'Hulk leg'. Meanwhile, Sharah aimed for a nice blue 'Mystique arm'. But back to the game, after many gruelling trials, Wicks came out triumphant as the Supreme Twister of Mess, making it a victory for the Eagles at 2-1. It was indeed a glorious day.
Even though the crew was split on that day and there was some friendly competition, I'm sure we will always stand together. We shook hands and effectively mixed all the colours together, creating a camouflage effect, which can be seen as a symbol of unity. It's times like this that really make me feel proud and lucky to have such incredible friends.
As expected, we all needed a good hosing down after the game. Sharah's hose was most remarkable as it had 3 settings: the Typical Shower, the Sideways Spray and the Killer. Let me tell you now, never use the Killer setting on yourself as it is highly capable of blasting your feet off, however it did prove to be most effective at combatting the paint on the Twister mat. Following the hosing, we decided it would be a good idea to use some baby wipes for any remaining paint residue (the blue paint clung onto skin particularly well). At some point, Master decided that she would resume her role as a security guard to protect the baby wipes (it's like déjà vu from the VIP mole incident) however when she used her security guard voice, Sharah genuinely thought for a moment there was a man in the garden.
At the end of the day, I think it's fair to say that everyone had a tremendous amount of fun. Special thanks to Sharah for being a fabulous host plus getting the Twister set, and Wicks for providing liquid mess (a.k.a. paint).
Well, even after one hell of a Monday, Tuesday managed to be just as eventful. DLM, Cap and Master did a 'am I cool' test. DLM came out 'coolest' with 77%, Cap scored a respectable 57%, however Master only managed 33%. I can almost hear, in my mind, ANT saying "pitiful."
At breaktime, Master pulled out an apple in a ziplock bag. Sharah immediately thought it looked like a detective's sample, possibly from the crime scene of Snow White. Take a look at the 'sample':
In the same hour, Wicks told a story about when Cap and her went to a chip shop last week, however, upon receiving the chips, they found what looked like some chicken, but it was actually a straight-up fried potato (the purpose of the potato still remains a mystery, perhaps it could be considered as a 'paper weight' to weigh down the bag of chips?) hence the birth of the 'Chipato'. How intriguing...
It has to be said that it was a pretty emotional day, especially for Sharah as she was feeling everything from delight to stress due to History coursework having to be submitted. She actually wrote a mock-up that proved to be most entertaining. We won't post it now, but keep your eye out for it ;)
I feel I need to emphasise that Tuesday was an extremely important day, not just because it was the final day of the academic year, but it was The Voice of Reason's birthday! We managed to (not so) discretely put together a surprise picnic for lunchtime, featuring 3 different flavours of hummus, Cap's beautiful birthday cake, heart-shaped watermelon slices, strawberried grown in the Highlands by a particular Ivan Melvyn Brown and plenty more. All in all, a jolly good time was had by all!
I'm afraid this will be the last WNR for a few weeks, but do not fear as there's plenty more content coming very soon!
Until next time, have a good summer and stay safe ;p
Kicking off the week, ConscienceSarah and Master were sat in Maths engaging in a teamwork exercise where the class had to solve a Killer Sudoku (no, no, no! Not just your everyday Sudoku). After a little while, we really got into the spirit of things, with the teacher admitting that it's a rather addictive activity, ideal for when you're feeling bored on a beach in the summer hols.
Now, I know what you're all waiting to hear about. One of this week's main events was the ultimate match of Messy Twister, with Sharah playing host. We warmed up a little beforehand with a spot of 'Cards Against Humanity' (the Game of Thrones version) but afterwards it was strictly down to business. We reached Sharah's early in the afternoon and geared up almost straight away. When I say 'gear' I'm referring to old clothes (Wicks had a rather startling pair of skin-coloured leggings, whilst Sharah's were a bright sunshine yellow, apparently previously used when she had to portray a banana in a dance show), shower caps (paint stains light-coloured hair. Plus DisneyLoverMolly felt that she needed to protect her newly-done pedicure, so naturally she went swimming pool style, with one shower cap on each foot) and swimming goggles for Master.
Let's establish the teams. With their blue stripes, Team Badger consisted of Cap, Anya Stark, DLM and Lead Badger Sharah. Meanwhile, Team Eagle was one member down, so they only had ArwaChihuahua, Wicks and Master. Of course, the Eagles had their classic yellow beak painted onto their foreheads. And last but not least, we had Team Platypus, populated only by Sharah's sister, the WelSHEEP, who wore a 'P' proudly on her stomach.
As the bells sounded for round 1, we took our first steps into the paint. Wicks' foot made a particularly stereotypical squelching sound at one point, which was appreciated by many. Events escalated quickly as we were soon under some extremely slippy circumstances. Overall, ArwaChihuahua scored one for Team Eagle at the end of the first round. As the second round progressed, the paint was starting to build up on our feet, with Wicks commenting on how hers looked the same colour as typical horror movie zombie feet. We came out of that round with Anya scoring one for the Badgers, making both teams even. It was then decided that we'd have one more round to settle the battle. In the end, it was a showdown between Anya and Wicks. On the other hand, whilst the last 2 were twisted in paint, DLM put a generous amount of green paint on Master's leg, which was then extended to create a 'Hulk leg'. Meanwhile, Sharah aimed for a nice blue 'Mystique arm'. But back to the game, after many gruelling trials, Wicks came out triumphant as the Supreme Twister of Mess, making it a victory for the Eagles at 2-1. It was indeed a glorious day.
Even though the crew was split on that day and there was some friendly competition, I'm sure we will always stand together. We shook hands and effectively mixed all the colours together, creating a camouflage effect, which can be seen as a symbol of unity. It's times like this that really make me feel proud and lucky to have such incredible friends.
 |
| The hose in action. Photo credits: ConscienceSarah |
At the end of the day, I think it's fair to say that everyone had a tremendous amount of fun. Special thanks to Sharah for being a fabulous host plus getting the Twister set, and Wicks for providing liquid mess (a.k.a. paint).
Well, even after one hell of a Monday, Tuesday managed to be just as eventful. DLM, Cap and Master did a 'am I cool' test. DLM came out 'coolest' with 77%, Cap scored a respectable 57%, however Master only managed 33%. I can almost hear, in my mind, ANT saying "pitiful."
At breaktime, Master pulled out an apple in a ziplock bag. Sharah immediately thought it looked like a detective's sample, possibly from the crime scene of Snow White. Take a look at the 'sample':
 |
| CSI: Snow White. Photo credits: Jen |
It has to be said that it was a pretty emotional day, especially for Sharah as she was feeling everything from delight to stress due to History coursework having to be submitted. She actually wrote a mock-up that proved to be most entertaining. We won't post it now, but keep your eye out for it ;)
I feel I need to emphasise that Tuesday was an extremely important day, not just because it was the final day of the academic year, but it was The Voice of Reason's birthday! We managed to (not so) discretely put together a surprise picnic for lunchtime, featuring 3 different flavours of hummus, Cap's beautiful birthday cake, heart-shaped watermelon slices, strawberried grown in the Highlands by a particular Ivan Melvyn Brown and plenty more. All in all, a jolly good time was had by all!
I'm afraid this will be the last WNR for a few weeks, but do not fear as there's plenty more content coming very soon!
Until next time, have a good summer and stay safe ;p
Friday 1 August 2014
Perfect Sandwiches: Mid-year review 2014
Friday 1st August, 2014
Perfect Sandwiches
Mid-year review 2014
After almost 4 years in operation, this is the first official review of Perfect Sandwiches. It was decided that now is as good a time as any to start formally addressing possible issues, setting new targets and also celebrating success, which is precisely what we did at the final summer board meeting on Tuesday 22nd July.
We begin this review with great news of progress over the past few years. This is clearly demonstrated not only in the dramatic increase of page-views, as shown below in fig. 1, but also the continuous expansion into promising and exciting new fields of today and tomorrow.
Perfect Sandwiches
Mid-year review 2014
After almost 4 years in operation, this is the first official review of Perfect Sandwiches. It was decided that now is as good a time as any to start formally addressing possible issues, setting new targets and also celebrating success, which is precisely what we did at the final summer board meeting on Tuesday 22nd July.
We begin this review with great news of progress over the past few years. This is clearly demonstrated not only in the dramatic increase of page-views, as shown below in fig. 1, but also the continuous expansion into promising and exciting new fields of today and tomorrow.
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